Kids, here’s something I wish someone had told me… hahaha PERAÍ, antes que eu comece meu discurso Ted Mosby, primeiro vamos recapitular em que pé estamos. E não se preocupem, este post não levará mais de 8 anos pra ser contado.
Previously on Bruberries’ blog…
Terminei um namoro, comecei outro, saí de casa, morei com a sogra, comprei um apartamento, perdi um cachorro, adotei outro, comecei a comer a clara do ovo, voltei a ter ataques de pânico, comecei terapia e entrei em um relacionamento sério com meu trabalho como autônoma.
Voltando ao post… Mesmo depois de tudo isso, estava eu lá no país das maravilhas dando uma de Alice enquanto um grande segredo de família era mantido. Eu tinha irmãos e não sabia. Eles tinham uma irmã, e sabiam, tinham fotos minhas e votavam em mim nos concursos – e agora sabemos como eu ganhei alguns deles. Um drama bem melhor do que o enredo de Salve Jorge que durou 16 anos de angustia. E foi num dia em que meu pai veio ajudar o Rafael a colocar o rodaforro do apartamento que este drama desabou, em meio a alguns sacos de cimento, um pai chorão e um namorado perplexo com o rodaforro ainda na mão.
E por conta disso, eu, enfim, soube que tinha não um, não dois, mas sim três irmãos. E eles não são trigêmeos.
Foi um misto de raiva, felicidade, arrependimento, saudade e confusão que tomou conta da minha cabeça. Poxa, simplesmente todo mundo da minha família sabia, menos eu. O tempo perdido, o segredo guardado, uma outra vida minha rolando em paralelo sem mim e todas as possibilidades do que já tinha passado na vida que eu conhecia se eu adicionasse mais três elementos. Minha formatura, minha viagem pra Las Vegas, trocar fraldas, trocar brinquedos, ser irmã e ter irmãos. Muita coisa ao mesmo tempo, e a cada vez que eu ia pro banho, aquele momento em que eu ficava só com as gotas do chuveiro e meus pensamentos, era como se eu encarnasse Sherlock Holmes e juntasse vários pedaços e situações dos meus 25 anos que só agora faziam sentido, ao mesmo tempo em que mil outras dúvidas surgiam.
Mas essas dúvidas e pensamentos não serviam pra nada. Quem sabia o que, o que poderia ter sido, mas como, por quê? O que passou, passou e ali começou uma nova fase da minha vida. Como num passe de mágica, todos nós nos adaptamos muito bem à tudo isso, e em menos de um mês era como se tivéssemos nos conhecido a vida inteira. A não ser pelo fato de que, bem, não foi.
E tem gente que ainda não entende porquê considero meu blog um blog pessoal. Eu podia tá matando, eu podia tá roubando, eu podia tá fazendo minha janta. Mas não, tô aqui contando uma história bem íntima da minha vida, que, inevitavelmente, expõe mais pessoas. Simplesmente porque essa é minha vida, esse é meu clube, e esse não é um post pago da Nextel.
Sei lá. Se acontecem todas essas coisas comigo e com elas eu aprendo, rio e choro, por que não dividir com quem quer que seja? Entretenimento barato essa tal de vida.
Mas gente… sinto que meus posts estão começando a ficar meio Especial Roberto Carlos: uma vez por ano e se chorei ou se sofri, Jesus Cristo eu estou aqui. Como já virou praxe finalizar post com uma promessa, eu prometo que ainda esse mês tem layout novo e um blog mais atualizado! Sem mais ~mimimi vcs não acreditam no que aconteceu cmg amgs~ ME COBREM!
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