O pós do ex

12/04/2009 /

Primeiro você se transforma na Revolta. Tira o commited do Orkut, deleta todas as fotos dele, se escabela toda e xinga o maldito até sua décima quinta geração de parentes. Faz uma fogueira numa lata de Nescau e queima cartas, fotos, aquele primeiro papel de bala que ele te deu quando vocês ainda eram só amigos e todo e qualquer vestígio de que aquele canalha passou pela sua vida, incluindo a aliança que teima em não sair do seu dedo. Depois, você assume a Mágoa. Começa a sentir falta do cheiro, do gosto, dos telefonemas, de comentar aquele programa que vocês sempre viam deitados no sofá no domingo a noite, de alguém que entenda o que quer dizer aquela palavra que vocês criaram juntos. Você até tenta resgatar algumas poucas coisas da lata de Nescau, mas é em vão. Você se torna a Depressão. E, pior, faz força pra continuar sendo ela. Se joga nas caixas de chocolate, aluga pela sétima vez na locadora Um Amor Pra Recordar e ouve incalsavelmente todas as versões de Fico assim sem você da Adriana Calcanhoto. Só com sax, só com piano, gospel, forró, indiana. Chorando abraçada com o maior ursinho de pelúcia que ele te deu em todas, claro. Você olha pra aliança e chora. Você come, e chora. Você assiste Tom e Jerry e chora. Você respira, e… chora mais um pouco. Até o momento em que você não tem mais 80% de água no corpo, e sim 5% e resolve que você vai voltar a ser Mais Você. Porque no fim, é como a TPM. Existem receitas para amenizar, mas não mágicas para sumir. Acontece, você querendo ou não. É humano. Dói, irrita, dá depressão e tudo que você não quer é passar por aquilo de novo. Mas a vida continua.

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