Maternidade

Os primeiros 3 meses

19/09/2013 /

3 meses

E foram-se os 3 primeiros meses de gravidez. Aqueles que julgam serem os mais chatos, os mais sintomáticos, os mais blé. Porém, eu não tive a maioria dos sintomas clássicos, sabe? Aqueles que a gente vê em novela e já se liga “essa louca tá grávida”. Eu tive enjôos, por exemplo, apenas duas vezes. E as duas vezes eu acredito seriamente que não tinham nada a ver com o bebê, e sim com a mãe de alma gordinha: da primeira vez desconfio que tenha sido uma barra de Milka 300g devorada em apenas 2 dias, na outra foi uma invenção de congelar hamburguinhos de soja que não acabou nada bem.

Eu tive, sim, nojentices passageiras. Acordava um dia e pensava “meu deus, por que alguém come cenoura? parece tão nojento!”, assim, sem motivos. Os mimimi de comida me fizeram implicar com vários alimentos totalmente aleatórios, sem nenhum argumento. Julguei o ovo, a cenoura, as comidas quentes, as frituras, as massas. Enfim, a maçã se salvou e taí uma coisa que eu poderia passar a vida toda comendo. Mas não a porosa.. e nem a verde. Eca!

A expectativa de ver a tal barriga era – e continua sendo – grande, mas nos primeiros meses a minha mal cresceu. Embora algumas pessoas – querendo muito acreditar – viessem me dizer “olha só essa barriguinha já querendo despontar”, eu pensava silenciosamente que não, meu bem, isso chama-se lordose + fondue da semana passada, não é bebê coisa nenhuma. Mas, né? Ninguém mais me dá oi. Dão oi pra tal barriga de batata frita.

Aliás, eu sou uma pessoa que não teve surto em saber que vou ser responsável por um ser, criar uma pessoa e formar seu caráter, mas sim em saber que minha barriga viraria pública. Todo mundo quer ver, passar a mão e, começa o pavor, DESENHAR nela. Gente, é sério. Eu me arrepio toda só de pensar em chá de fraldas, por causa dos malditos desenhos com batom bagaceiro das tias. Não é porque não sabem comprar pelo catálogo das revistinhas que vão lambuzar minha barriga com um monte de Natura usado, né? E cadê sertralina pra passar por isso? Grávida nem tem essas regalias, tem que matar no peito ou quebrar uns pratos.

Um sintoma que eu tive também foi o tal do olfato aguçado. Até parece legal, tipo um super poder, mas na real não serve pra nada. Ah não ser que comecem a treinar grávidas como pastor alemão, para trabalhar no aeroporto e com policiais. Acabou o tráfico, daí.

Fora os sintomas, as sensações do primeiro trimestre são bem confusas. É algo tipo “dizem que eu estou grávida”, mas juro que nada parece ter mudado em mim, tirando o fato de que eu virei uma pessoa chata que tem que comer bem, se exercitar e não pode beber nada alcoolico. Virei atleta olímpica ou entrei na terceira idade? Nenhum, tô grávida. Dizem.

A falta de interação com o bebê também não contribui pra ficha cair. É como se ele tivesse redes sociais, mas nunca tá online em nada. Aí de vez em quando fazemos umas video(eco)conferências, mas o microfone dele tá estragado e, enfim… carinha difícil esse. Nem foto de perfil tem! :( Espero que seja gato.

Mas é isso! Ainda temos vários meses pela frente, e a cada um deles novas descobertas, rabugices e algumas certezas: o amor cresce, a barriga também, e eu continuo sem poder beber Piña Colada.

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