Sobre layouts e bobagens da vida
Minha outra sósia (não tão bem sucedida e de mau gosto), Anne e eu!* Aviso: esse parágrafo é opcional!* hehe
E outro assunto é que andei pensando e conversando com a minha mãe. Não estou conseguindo aproveitar muito as férias, minha cabeça não conseguiu desacelerar do último semestre. Não consigo descansar ou ficar sem pensar em algo que me estresse. Quase não consigo dormir direito, acordo umas sete vezes por noite! O que eu percebo é que a partir do primeiro ano de faculdade, eu fiquei muito mais séria do que eu era. Eu comecei a não achar nada tão engraçado a ponto de ter uma crise de riso. Foram quatro anos sendo exigida pelos professores, que colocavam o terror dizendo que a gente precisava fazer mais, ser mais, correr atrás, acordar, dizendo que a realidade é muito foda, é muito difícil, etc. Desde o começo tinha também a exigência de manter o padrão ESPM de ser: junte-se aos melhores. Além, é claro, da minha própria exigência pessoal, que sempre fez parte da minha personalidade. Sei lá, eu acho que desaprendi a ser irresponsável, a não levar as coisas tão a sério, a me divertir, a viver sem prazos e sem limites, a ser mais emoção do que razão. Eu virei uma pessoa que eu não estou gostando de ser. :( Eu virei um layout quadrado e esquemático. E não acho que ser madura seja ser chata assim, seja não aproveitar a vida. Não pode ser assim! Acho que minhas crises de ansiedade têm muito a ver com isso… eu fico com um lado divertido, fútil e criança muito guardado e estoura em ansiedade, nervosismo. E eu não gosto de falar das minhas angústias de adolescente aqui no blog, embora ele tenha sido feito pra isso.. eu acho meio mesquinho, apesar de tudo! Acho que serve como desabafo pra mim, mas é totalmente descenessário pra quem vem aqui! Eu ando bem triste, faz uns quatro meses.. desde que fui pro hospital, mas quero colocar as idéias num post que seja, pra pelo menos ler o que se passa e ver que eu posso voltar a ser como antes, e relaxar de todos os estresses! Eu quero, eu posso e vou! E espero contar com a ajuda do pessoal que lê meu blog! hehehe Votem em mim! Digo… hehehe Tá, era isso! Post chato, ninguém merece! Beeeijos!
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